“Return” by Selena Wellington

If I could,
I would stop writing
poetry about being
trans enough.

I would accept
the changing
fluid motions
of understanding
and identities.

I would surrender
to Mystery between
my atoms,
rejoice in the unknowing
as a way of becoming
again and again.

If I could,
I would accept
this body
as is,
as grows,
without injecting
my shapeshifting
into its biology.

(Sometimes, even,
I do accept Her.
It is only by outside,
the others looking on,
that I fear I will
never be seen in
entirety.)

I am not substituting this journey.
I am not forsaking my past.
I am not letting go of my feminine.
I am reverently listening to all parts of me.

I am making room for my contradictions.

Selena Wellington has many names, including but not limited to Renn, selena, Damian, Charlie, Xavia Astra, and sweet prince. Selena is a sculptor of sound, artist of people, storyteller, healer, lover boi, witch, activist, shapeshifter, and dreamer, among other things. Selena sometimes finds their poems in liminal space, inter-dimensional portals, and moonlight, but often finds their poems in watching people who are thus far unaware of their own divinity. More information at selenawellington.com.

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